Every now and then in life you will find yourself posed with this question. Is it better to watch a Telegu movie in let’s say a city like Mumbai or is it better to travel to AP and watch the movie? The answer then is quite as simple. South India is a completely new and weird world which will make you realize that probably India has more in common with Africa than what we’d like to believe. Also  to travel all the way just to watch a movie is a very cool story you can tell your grandchildren, if you have no children or the prospects there of then it’s a story you can tell your grandparents. Here’s how you go about answering said question.

Take a train from Mumbai to Vijayawada. It’s an overnight journey and as long as you pack your luggage in a Samsonite or something close to it you should be good. Your destination is a place called Guntur a small taxi ride from Vijaywada, this you might assume is a small city in the middle of nowhere on the other side of the Krishna river. Not really the city is hustling and bustling at 11 in the night. There is an age old test which classifies a city as developed or not. It might have been developed in Mumbai but it’s pretty logical. If a city provides its resident insomniacs “chai” and food after mid night then it’s a developed city.  If not, it’s not quite there as yet. By that definition Guntur is a very developed modern city.

It also happens to be as interesting a place as any, it’s in Andra Pradesh and as such they speak Telegu. You may make the mistake of assuming that navigating through the city would not be a problem considering that the road signs and addresses on buildings would be in English. Big mistake! an assumption like that will get you killed in Guntur and probably by extension in any part of AP, it’s all in Telegu which is cool except visitors to Guntur don’t speak Telegu which at some level is why they are called visitors. You might agree with the sentiment that if you hate Hindi that’s cool it’s why we have English as a language as well, so that a Human sitting in AP could theoretically of course understand a human from say Bengal.

At this point your wondering what to do when you get to this lost in translation kind of place. The first thing to do is to relax, the people in all parts of India are some of the sweetest people you will ever meet, whether they speak your language or not they understand both English and Hindi well enough to give you directions and will more often than not in their excitement over helping you will send you packing in the wrong way but they will still help out. The second thing you want to do is find the “Hollywood Bollywood” theatre, this is the most famous theatre in Guntur.

The building looks like the letter “H” the first vertical line is the Bollywood section, the middle horizontal line is the canteen and the last horizontal line is the Hollywood section. At this point you might wonder where the regional films play, well that would be Bollywood section. The tickets are cheap as hell and are printed on a very fancy piece of paper with the name of the movie in English. If you’re wondering since you obviously don’t read the language let alone speak it, how to buy said ticket, it’s quite simple point to the next show and then to a movie poster and ask for a ticket, he’ll know why your there. You can’t understand the dialogues, but the plot is usually simple so you’ll get the idea of what going on, as for the rest follow that oldest of mottos “when in Guntur do what the Gunturians do“. For the price sensitive traveler the Rs10 ticket is available as soon as you enter the hall and not at the ticket counter and is not printed on the fancy paper. The restrooms are clean and the popcorn well cooked. So if such a random question has randomly passed through your head, you’re not the first and won’t definitely be the last so take a wild trip to the south of India a truly interesting place.